Walmart and Anger Management

Okay people, I have a gripe. Not even so much a gripe, I need to vent, rant, whatever you call getting this off my chest so I can go back to being as zen as possible. After all, I paid good money to a shrink a few years back to help me with my anger management skills and I am trying to put them to good use.

I must have taken 10-40 deep breaths while I was standing in line at Wally World this afternoon. Let me break it down into detailed gripes so you can all appreciate the shear annoyance I was feeling....

Gripe #1. The screaming kid. Many parents don't seem to think is their problem. Somehow they manage to zone out their kids and expect the rest of the world to just understand their kid is having a bad moment. I can give you a moment, but 15 minutes?! I found myself trapped between a slow loader (you know the person who makes a career out of putting their crap on the counter) and the woman who clearly has 'tuning out' down to a science. Her little girl cried, sobbed and screamed at the top of her lungs for the 15 minutes of torture I experienced in the 20 Items or Less aisle.

Gripe #2. The budger. I was called by a cashier who was opening her lane (hoorah!) to "come over her baby, I gotcha" and as I was backing my cart from the aisle (thinking it was my lucky day) a man with a cart load of soda and canned ravioli whizzed by, cut me off and jumped into the pole position. Smile gone from my face, I frown and I think to myself "Ah hem, excuse e moi." I don't say anything because I felt a little guilty for not yanking my cart from one aisle and announcing to anyone nearby who eyed 'my' spot that I was headed that way, because lets face it, that is what you have to do in Walmart to stay alive.

Gripe #3. Twenty items is 20 items. Here is what the guy had in his cart; (or buggy as Southerners say) 3 cases of soda, 10 liters of soda and 18 cans of Chef Boyardee products. Now, I understand slipping the few extra items onto the counter, cuz who hasn't done that, but dude, seriously we're passed 31 items and just because a few of them are cases doesn't make it okay. Even worse, he knew the cashier and they had some business to talk about...which of course, anyone who knows me should laugh right now because you know I am doing some AUDIBLE deep breathing and exhaling to give these two people a friggin' clue. I don't care if you know each other, 20 items IS 20 items.

Gripe #4. Glacial Bagger. Ahhh, my favorite. If the screaming child in the next row over isn't enough, the guy with the 31 items (and yes of course he had to pay with half cash and then put the other half on a credit card) is having a conversation with the cashier about so and so having so and so and blah blah blah...now it's time for the cashier to bag all of those cans...three per plastic bag of course. While they continue to discuss so and so she clearly cannot multi-task and has to pause to look at the guy and talk, then she can drop a can into a bag. Round and round the carousel goes and there stands Mr. budge in line-faux diamond bluetooth wearing-two payments to complete the transaction-oblivious to anyone behind him. He takes his sweet old time filling his cart with all of these bags, says his goodbyes to the cashier and shoves off.

Finally, I check out with my 19 items (in 7 bags of course) and cross towards the door when the lady with the screaming kid cuts me off. I smile at her and the look on my face says it all, "You tried to break me and you all failed!" I feel a sudden sense of empowerment, I didn't totally lose my mind, I managed to remain polite to the cashier and I didn't scowl and the lady with the kid.

Now I have written all of this, I'm no longer angry or annoyed...I've had my say, it's off my chest and now I'm ready for a glass of wine;)